Call of the Buffalo
I recently found myself in a bit of inner turmoil. The idea of entering into hospice nursing had presented itself through an aligned conduit: a dear friend made through years of bi-weekly receiving my private sound services, whom also works as an ICU nurse. The thought of it flooded my heart. I always loved working with people at end-of-life and supporting their families. It only made sense to return to the nursing field and bring what I have gathered from my work as sound facilitator and space holder. I called a woman named Mia, whom had supported me deeply with Akashic Record readings through the process of leaving nursing, to receive her blessing with returning. She felt nothing but goodness from what I shared with her. Mia is also known as the Drum Doula, I have had the privilege to sit in ceremony with her twice: once for an elk drum and secondly for a horse & crystal medicine rattle. I told her that I wanted to have her birth an 18” horse medicine drum in celebration of this next chapter. She waited to begin fabricating the drum after hearing the response on the interview.
After applying and going in for an interview for a super flexible as-needed position, I found myself grappling with my role in this world and potentially grieving the shifting of my life as fully in service on-demand to working some set hours, even if it was one 8-hour shift a week or less. The interview left me feeling super drained; the processing afterwards as much so. But the heart of supporting the dying remained true.
During this phase between applying and awaiting response, there was a personal dynamic struggle that manifested and brought about a lot of strong emotion (not unlikely connected with this adjacent unsteady situation). I remember laying my head down on my pillow that night, closing my eyes in full wakefulness and that was when the first visitation happened: a herd of buffalo, not stampeding, but quickly moving towards me from the mountains, so I am feeling it was from the West. It was very strange and seemingly out of nowhere. I let the vision play out then surrendered to rest. About a day later, I had a similar experience but this time it was a close-up of one Buffalo, facing to the side so I could clearly view the side of the face to the top and middle of the back. There was no other background or notable features within the vision.
The next day or so, I found myself with extra energy around awaiting the response for the interview and retreated to underneath the giant Magnolia tree on the property where I live. I was praying, singing and thanking the tree, Great Spirit and all present beings and asking for aligned opportunities to serve and support the local community. The Buffalo spirit visited once again and this time I was sitting on the ground before them, their bellies and long legs exposed to me. I could feel their warmth and smell their earthy fur and wild animalness. This time they came bearing a message: There is plenty. The whole experience of it was honestly quite emotional. The gift of abundance and endless generosity towards humans that comes from Buffalo is truly worthy of reflection and honoring.
I came inside after a period of connection and reverence with nature and this moment. It appeared that someone had contacted me whom I did not fully remember. She asked me if I could provide a soundbath at a funeral for her friend’s mom. Within a couple of hours, it was arranged. Other opportunities to support people with dying loved ones also presented themselves. Perhaps more eerily, I unexpectedly and unknowingly ended up within a couple of blocks of where a cousin had died, just 14 hours earlier, in a part of Philadelphia where I had not been in over 10 years. Spirit was showing me repetitively and with stark examples that there were aligned, guided opportunities to support the dying and their loved ones outside of my role as a nurse and within the sphere of where I am currently operating. Just a few days later, my application was declined. It was clear to me, at that point, that it would be. I want to say that I was relieved and sure about this direction, but initially I was confused about where I was supposed to go. I had just given up teaching a weekly yoga class; a successful group offering was going to bed for the winter; and, not to mention, I abandoned the noisy action of “outward marketing” and committed to solely viewing my work as service that is found. I didn’t know how it was all going to come through for me. In spite of the uncertainty, I reached out to Mia about birthing me a drum. It had already dawned on me that she had Buffalo hide and made the switch. I invested in a Buffalo medicine drum with trust from their message: THERE IS PLENTY. I was stepping into the role of whatever this next chapter held for me, fully releasing the idea of hospice nursing and yoga teaching as part of the journey.
Since that timeframe, my routine private service recipients have drastically expanded; the newly-developed group soundbath gatherings out of my home studio fill swiftly after announcing; aligned invitations are flowing in and clarity for when the answer is no is also widely available. I also have begun working with the Akashic Records. I just received the Buffalo drum this week, the same day of receiving some huge and exciting news on where my work may end up. I have not informed any of the recipients about it and yet, after each session, everyone is specifically commenting about “how playing the drum at their head was just excellent”; or “how did I know that playing the drum there was just right? “ Waiting for a service recipient to arrive the other day, I played my drum into near self-hypnosis without hearing anything outside of it. Spontaneously, I set down the drum and opened the front door. She had just arrived, opening her car door. Surrendering to divine alignment can feel like you are stepping into a drought-filled desert without any awareness of rain on the horizon. The Buffalo reminds us all “There is Plenty” or in other words, May AbunDANCE rain/reign upon all beings & be fully received with hearts centered in good.
