Building Bravery Within: Navigating Life Shifts and opening to Solo Travel. Reflections of my Personal Journey Overcoming Fear

If you are looking to overcome a fear,  you absolutely can and are meant to.  My intention is to share how I have worked to overcome significant fears in my life to be where I am today to show it is possible with a little faith, courage and commitment.  The resiliency of the human heart and spirit is abounding.  There is a specific section here about how I eventually made the leap to solo international traveling!  My services and retreats intend to elucidate your highest alignment, release stress patterns getting in the way and illuminate where leaps of faith are possible.

Fear around special needs A distant cousin would throw me around as a kid, unknowing her strength.  In my late teens and early twenties, I became an ABA therapist for children with autism.  One of my regular and longest “kids” had severe needs and combative behaviors.  It became wrote to remain balanced and calm in the face of his adversity.

Old people.  I remember my mom taking us to visit elders within the community at long-term care facilities.  It was unsettling the unpredictable, atypical behaviors of people requiring memory support or extreme physical needs.  The largest stent of work I have done at an institution was at a local Mennonite home for 12 years ascending from ascending from dietary server to nursing assistant to med tech to nurse.  My specialty was memory support, the thing I feared most and now have come to hold deep compassion.

Heights. I began rock climbing, beginning by sitting and watching people boulder for an hour without even getting up to make a move to sending a lead (you are attached from below, if you do not clip, you fall to the ground or wherever you last clipped.  Scary business!) climb outdoors at a local quarry.  Reaching new heights in the literal sense!

Applying for nursing school. I thought I didn’t have what it took to go through nursing school so I resisted applying.  An unexpected byproduct of going through my yoga teacher training was gaining self confidence and worth so I then applied for nursing school.  I was accepted for the next semester when they only accepted a limited amount of applicants.  This year marks 10 years since graduation!

Public speaking/facilitation/teaching yoga in front of a group. I went through my yoga teacher training to deepen my connection with the practice; the idea of sharing in front of anyone was terrifying.  What tipped me into finally going for it was an invitation to share with a group of people in remission with cancer.  Then the memory support residents at the Mennonite home.  The experience continued to accrue and became more and more second nature.  Now I have taught close to if not over a thousand classes in a multitude of settings.  Facilitating mind/body connection from within.

Working at a hospital. Same old story, I thought I didn’t have what it took to work in an acute care setting.  A plethora of clinical skills and high risk patients felt very daunting and rightfully so.  I applied at Grand View Health, the hospital where I was born, and was accepted for a part-time position and thus the journey continued for three years until I recognized and acknowledged the misalignment with my path.

Leaving nursing.

I knew that nursing was no longer in alignment for me for many reasons.  Incrementally, I was receiving signs on which direction to go from faithful source.  I was weaning my hours at the bedside and adding holistic events and private services to my calendar to build momentum.  I took the month of September away from nursing.  At the end of 2021, and probably still, there were unbelievable bonuses for picking up shifts to the point where I would walk home with $500 (after taxes) from an 8-hour day.  All while implementing policies and procedures that did not feel supportive to the healing process AND under unsafe circumstances.  It simply was no longer possible to sustain for my heart and code of ethics.  The (unknowingly) last 4-hour shift I remember feeling like a detached dream.  I ended up giving my final report to the nurse whom precepted me, my work mom, whom started working there the year I was born in 1989.

In the iconic words of Rocky Horror Pictureshow: Don’t dream it; be it!!!

Travel

I became a nurse in part of the flexibility for travel.   I have now been to over 20 countries, many of which solo.  It began, however, very simply as I was terrified of connecting out in the world.

I started by going out for a meal by myself.  Nothing is more socially uncomfortable for me than going out for a meal by yourself.

Then going to the movies.

Then going to the beach for the day.

Then going to Yogaville, (as you may guess) a yoga retreat center (I stayed one night; the energy was so uneasy)

Then going on a weekend R+R at Kripalu, another yoga retreat center

Then going to Cape Cod solo for 3 nights

Then to Costa Rica to accompany a friend at the time

Then to India, after officially becoming a registered nurse, with a tour group from the yoga studio where I taught at the time

Then I had my first unexpected death at my long-term care job.  It was the biggest blessing, I was able to ask the man whom was a DNR (do not resuscitate) if he wanted to go to the hospital.  He said no and passed away within the hour.  I had been wanting to go to Peru and was waiting for a partner.  The witnessing of this made me realize life is NOW and it is finite in this form.  So I booked my flights when I got home and left 3 weeks later.

Then I had another death which was devastating, a 66-year old pilot whom had just retired and disintegrated from cancer.  I booked my flight to Iceland in his honor.  He said his favorite place in the world was Budapest, which was also my uncle’s, where I would visit later on in his honor when he passed.

Booking international solo trips has become natural and then, of course, visiting national and local areas is without thought.  We widen our stretch with how far we reach and trust in ourselves and the Divine within and beyond us.

My intention with sharing this is to inspire you to live with abandon and follow your heart.  That is why we are here on this Earth.  We are meant to explore, experience, embrace and enjoy every moment to the fullest of our ability.

The services I provide are intended to expand that capacity and facilitate remembering and restoring connection with your highest alignment when things feel fuzzy or confused within.  It is possible to clear the cob webs, clean house and find your way out of an unhealthy pattern limiting your growth and depth of feeling.  The session I recommend most for this is Craniosacral and Sound Medicine service, opening and unwinding the stress and kinks within the fluid systems of the body then receiving sound and vibrational transmission to recalibrate

The retreats, and even events, I host are equally intended to pull people out of their comfort zones, entering into a safe, supportive space.  In this place receiving macro-dosed levels of relaxation and restoration so that the resiliency of human heart and spirit is remembered and elasticized.  The format of Sacred Sound, Silence and Stillness retreats is most setup for this.  There is one in the Catskills at tranquil and immaculate Menla coming up at the end of October and a second annual Spring wellness weekend at Himalayan Institute.  Hope to see you there!