Academia vs Apprenticeship How I have learned what I do
There is so much emphasis placed on trainings, certifications and the science within our culture. I have gone through my fair share ~ becoming a nursing assistant, a med tech, a registered 200 hour yoga teacher, a 100 hour yin yoga teacher, an 85 hour prenatal yoga teacher, a registered nurse, a Reiki master… The knowledge is valuable, but the trainings generally leave me feeling depleted and poorer in a sense than when I began. With esotericism and the abstraction of sound, stripping it of its magic to explain its “properties” feels wrongful in my heart. Learning about the digested pulp of what sound is from the narrowed human lens is an injustice to the potency and power that sound affords. For this reason, I have chosen to receive “training” through Spirit, word-of-mouth transmission + guidance from mentors and also experiential immersions.
A little background on myself: I do not own a TV. I have not owned a television the entirety of living on my own (8 years) and even when I lived at my parents, I did not watch it. When I say I do not own a TV, I also mean that I do not stream shows as well and am very discerning about what films to take in. There has also always been a tendency to read a book if it fully engages and grabs me or I will not read at all. I especially have chosen to only read a select few poets, due to the nature of being one myself. My subconscious trajectory in all of this (there are many, but specifically relating to processing) is because I have always wanted my views, words and expressions to be purely reflective of my own journey. I have largely abstained from mass media for the sake of my own clear perspective. Obviously there is influence one way or the other, but overall it has afforded me so much time to be with what I am feeling and then put it into words or allow it to flow through me in the form of sound.
Our culture is very effective at stripping away mystery and dissecting the mystical to sterility. I have always left Western medical and science-based trainings feeling like I know less than I began. It is a very disorienting process for me, even though I became skilled at the game of tests and papers. There is so much that we do not truly know compared with the anchoring inner knowing found through esoteric apprenticeship. Hazrat Inayat Khan, mystic and author of “The Mysticism of Sound and Music” has a quote, “ Science reaches at the end what mysticism reaches at the beginning”. It is true: science sets out to prove a proposed theory based on a phenomenon that has always and already existed. The wisdom offered from the lips and felt from the sound and vibrational transmissions of my chosen mentors are embedded in my cells due to the inner knowing felt and comprehended when receiving from them. This is also in part to the trust and respect I have in their intentions and refined journeys that have spanned decades. I have always existed NEEDING to fully comprehend something on a sensory-feeling level for me to believe it and then it is always accessible to me in understanding. I’m certain it is like this for everyone, really. Spirit and source energy, which is the birthplace of Sound, is infinite and boundless. Western science exists to strip down these magnificent forces, without regard to Spirit, and make what is boundless and infinite, strapped and condensed in order “to explain” it. Without regard to Spirit, Science is an incomplete, demystified process of explanation. I am not anti-science; I am pro-spirit and feel there is a way to integrate the two. As the timeless Epigram of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis goes: “The mediator between head and hands must be the heart!” There needs to be a bridge between the tangible and intangible in order for there to be true understanding.
The single greatest teacher I have had on this journey is deep listening. I recently began attending Quaker meeting weekly to fine-tune this muscle and step into the silence. It is incredible to witness the multitude of subtle layers found within silence when meeting for devotion of Spirit. This is a skill that was deeply set-in after a 10-day gong immersion camp at the end of 2022 with this certain Mitch Nur I have previously mentioned in the room where I received my first gongbath 10 years prior. This immersion had no tests. All it required was your presence and passion, which clearly filled the room. I will never forget coming home after being away for the 10 days and feeling my response time had slowed after being in a room filled with 20+ gongs, this incredible portal of an instrument influencing my bodily sense of time. Learning techniques was certainly enriching to the depth and aesthetic of my playing, but overall being with the gong and listening deeply to how and where I play has really expanded the horizons of the soundscape I am able to curate in a sitting. Some of my other greatest teachers are listening in nature and of course some of the many beautiful ambient musicians out there. Otherwise, I am entirely self-taught with how I play my instruments. Really, it is an ever-blooming relationship between myself, Spirit + the instrument in an interplay with the energies of the room or scenario for which I am playing. It is without a doubt the highest frequency of “training” I have ever personally undergone. That said, I am looking forward to the potentiality of receiving a wide range of esoteric teachings through reading, listening to lectures of the current sound masters and practicum through 9 Ways Academia led by Mitch Nur in the coming year.
Science is an incredible tool in modern times. My heart simply cannot allow it to disembowel what is far beyond the explicable: vibration, energy and sound. I cannot be more grateful to have had my previous trainings as reference to what is not aligned with my path. Leaving academic settings has been the most empowering choice for me. Now I listen deeply, feel and understand authentically without being told. It is a deep inner knowing that we all have and that cannot be taken away.
